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Adagio

Free erotic stories by Adagio on AdultRead

Willacoochee Chicken

humor Adagio 2018-03-05

In Hortense I saw a clue of what I wanted to do, wearing my thinking hat askew, helping Zelda cap her prized red 'mentos with okra. Her pickle eggs didn't do so well at the county fair, seeing as Gerdie our laying hen refused to get laid...Zelda used golf balls and broke three judges teeth. That night jacking off with calf's liver rolled up in a comic book...waking up with assorted colors of ink covering up my skunk tattoo...but I could pull picture hangers from the wall with my hammer. Zelda with an ambidextrous clit can hit with both sides of her clitoris, but is a southpaw when catching in the mitt with her 'mento and tossing the pecan back.

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Lean Acres And Harpoons

humor Adagio 2018-03-02

Like most schools, there was a rumor going around, that Cilla Derk had fucked our high school basketball team a couple months past. He moved in front of me and stood on the commode sink. His dick was now level with my face and it wasn't a far reach for my lips to kiss his little joust of a cock. "Lets all gather in a circle and unite this couple in matrimony," Saying with a straight face, the guru performed a civil ceremony on Cilla and I. Fucking her ass with my snout she shouted, "hallelujah." Then Barkley (Adonis) moved close to me and started sucking my cock. It may sound a difficult feat, but she was ass fucking Cilla with a nipple.

Gazebos and Vermouth - Part 2

mastrubation Adagio 2018-02-28

Between the cover and first page was a small business card belonging to the motel Beachside, the one and only motel in the village. Walked into the house and placed the book on the kitchen table, making sure the business card was still between the cover. I went to the hall closet and reached for 'old-smokey' a dildo with a suction cup and with a girth to choke the average ass-hole. I took a deep breath and let the head come to my ass-hole. As I raised and lowered my ass on 'old-smokey' the pre-cum went in all different directions. The lounge happen to be in the motel where Cali's card came from.

Number 44

group Adagio 2018-02-26

Sammy said it was my tips that she put under her garter, not my fancy. I found Carol in the bedroom being fondled by the three amigos only they looked like three fellow Marines from the base. Carol was sitting naked in the middle of the bed with a cock in each hand and one lodged down her throat. He finally took notice of a naked me sitting down in a chair with a 20 dollar ticket in one hand and a beer in the other. Mr right dick and left dick walked out of the bedroom in limp fashion as Carol noticed me. After Alice and I had dislodged I ask Sammy how much longer I had to wait to fuck my own girl.

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I Vont Yu Gummy Bear

humor Adagio 2018-02-26

The Vampire ladies having a wake sale of stale tomato aspic (a placebo for blood) to fatten the meager cougher's of the coven. She grasped my cock and bestowed on it a slippery kiss, as I eased on down to her cunt. "Have you ever tried eating pussy, wearing a crash helmet and magnifying goggles with a snorkel?" I was at a disadvantage, with the doctor's safety accouterments, but I gave my cock a good showing. Pecan being my weakness. Silently, in my bestest vampire canter, I eased up to the window. She was sitting in a hair salon chair, paging through a horoscope and dinosaur magazine. Making me home sick, with memories of the invention of the square wheel.

Gazebos and Vermouth

mature Adagio 2018-02-25

It being a small village that we live in, gossip has a way of exploding. Cali is a mature woman with green eyes and has a keen sense of knowing what she wants. It was the time of the Harvest Home Coming in the small village in which I live, a yearly end of summer type of celebration held every September with rides for the kids and booth attractions for the adults, homemade pies and cakes, pickles and jams and plenty of fair for all. She was mentally undressed again as I had my tongue buried in her cunt and her juices ran down into my stomach setting off sky rockets in my mind.

I Vont Yu Devils On Horseback

humor Adagio 2018-02-25

He was looking for night crawlers and I told him my girlfriend crawled with the best, when swinging on a pole and licking toe jam. "Ask her, if the feet have toe jam, Ezekiel?" With each sliding stroke of her hand, the jack raised me until I touched the inner roof panel. "It’s intermission, Ezekiel, use the hand sanitizer. All us vampires know that we’re supposed to wash our hands and fang before and after toe jam. The mouse on my shoulder was wearing a parka and earmuffs as I asked her what she wanted from the concession stand. When I return to the empty car, a small bat was hanging on the speaker pole, wearing a wimple and singing, "Shall we gather at the river, where bright angel feet have trod..."

I Vont Yu Soggy Foxy Box

humor Adagio 2018-02-24

The box literally falling apart, with splinters and fecal matter, lumped like coal in a corner with a thousand eyes. Moments later as Ezekiel exits the Desoto, at the coffin emporium. He was greeted by a shapely curvaceous woman, who was in early stages of vampire change-over. Soon to be fleshy thighs before his eyes and tongue. She was a tall shapely woman with long red hair and deep blue eyes that looked right through him. Vampire King. It was as if the sighs of ghouls and tormented souls were being carried by the howling wind. Arriving by car, a distant mile from the city line. She was flaunting her flesh at me as I demonstrated my cantering-pace, sliding my knuckles across the hardwood floor as my watch fob rattled and the hands on the dial spun.

Gravel In My Gurdy

humor Adagio 2018-02-21

I left off as Hurley and Zelda were moped-bopping. I pulled the BMW R16 moto-cycle with sidecar into the lot of the Boll-Weevil Motel. Finally getting settled in the room, Zelda was taking a shower. He took a peek and watched Zelda and the housemaid wilding away in April Showers bath salts. She must have entered the room when he was squinting. Zelda's clit was hung up in the faucet and the maids tits were floating like water wings. The maid did hip service as she donned a robe and left as Zelda came out the bath wearing a shower cap. Later that night has Zelda slept I reopen the laptop to the same chat room.

Raised Amicably

fetish Adagio 2018-02-20

Usually several times a day, I would stretch my weasel, hoping it would spit the wild wood flower and turn into a tree. Five nights a week, men would fill up the five chairs on the first row (the only row) wanting to ca-noodle with her protruding clit-widget. Five days a week, I would polish her hoops thinking her clit was a valve, like that on a tire. I would categorize the usage of the word rambunctious, as when Florentine sneezed, and a few of her pussy rings fell off and rolled across the floor, breaking the leg of the local pastor. The vacuum detached from her clit and swallowed the bird that landed on the ring.

I Vont Yu Icing Squeezer

humor Adagio 2018-02-19

Just me and my mouse, (my conscience) plus Bowser. A forty-six pound cockroach that I had adopted. The people who I feasted on, waned and grew pale, transforming into the undead. Bowser is a toy duck on wheels, pulled by a string." Her whispering in my ear like a feather, tickling my arousal. The volume of her loudness, moving me to an ejaculation as she set up and screamed. "GET YOUR DAMN FINGER OUT OF THE MELON!" I was there with Bowser on a leash as the sun set. My blisters were popping as I watched the Shriner's parade. The mouse reminding me that chickens had feathers, and that I should amend that sentence. Her cum like rosettes, decorating my cock. I heard the parade coming back around the circle and took my leave. "Give my regards to Broadway, remember me to..."

FeloniousGooch69

humor Adagio 2018-02-19

Horseputty says to BigTits: I like your avatar Horseputty says to FeloniousGooch69: why are you showing me your fat ass  ZelGooch says to FeloniousGooch69: Hurley, I thought you were going bowling BigTits says to FeloniousGooch69: stick that cigarette up your ass FeloniousGooch69 says to BigTits: you should see Zelgooch chew gum with her pussy Horseputty says to ZelGooch69:what are you going to do with the roller skates FeloniousGooch69 says to BigTits: do you take it in the ass Beckky4U says to ZelGooch: a 5 minute time out for cam abuse  BigTits says to FeloniousGooch69: why do you squint your eyes when you grab your metal nozzle  FeloniousGooch69 says: I have a booger on my screen, looks like it has legs 

Gazebos and Vermouth - Part 3

bdsm Adagio 2018-02-18

She slid a piece of writing paper over to me on the counter top and started talking to a newly arrived couple carrying overnight bags. Minutes later I was tied naked and spread-eagle on a bed. This was to be my body free fantasy come true of all hair from neck down, including my now wilted chicken neck cock. Slowly working the warm foam and blade down to the covered edge covering my leaning tower of cock she removed the towel. Starting at my feet she worked upwards with the foam on my legs. She powdered my cock and balls, legs, tummy and chest before she flipped a switched turning the bed upside down.

Shadow's Ivy

humor Adagio 2018-02-18

Like other members of the family flock, I attended Dartmouth University, majoring in mediocrity and minoring in meteorology, following in my uncle's footsteps, chasing tornadoes and aspiring stage dancers... In spite of my freaking insomnia, I rendered my pen to writing erotica and, at the same time, practised new knots on green ivy while practising self restraint bondage. Lost in the bushes of the maze, he would many times have to send up smoke signals, like the heathens of the swamps, for assistance. As small particles of light came in from around the creases of the closed window, creating shadows on the walls as she mimed that of a horny large bird seeking worms to feed her diet of the moment, penises in a row of all different sizes and communions.

There Is Nothing To Be seen

humor Adagio 2018-02-18

Next to laying my penis on top of the liverwurst, topped by the bread and jacking off with it, there ain't nothing better then with wax paper. It had been several weeks ago, while visiting a local nursery, I happen to run into Dionaea (Dione) Muscipula, my now new girl friend. Although looking for blue fescue seeds for the home terrace I was immediately smitten by her. Hurley (my best friend) was a medical school drop out in 1947 and now was Assistant Manager of Last Resort Car wash and was always featured as geriatric chamois and passenger side of the month employee. I thought it time for Hurley to look at her, seeing as he did have some medical schooling.

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Gazebos and Vermouth-Part 7

mature Adagio 2018-02-17

She was going to see how many men she could jack-off in the space of three hours, stopping after each man and then knocking back a tequila shooter. It wasn't too many shooters later that Frank walked down the inside of the counter and told me Evelyn was ready. I tapped on the door of 11B and was met by Evelyn carrying a small nose-clip type mask that was attached to the Nitrous oxide tank. Evelyn got up on the table centering her pussy over my face. Now knowing that Mrs Swaney was in a meat-whacking symposium and was working with her new hubby on a medical break through for the prevention of hand blisters, I was going to strut.

Asphalt And Fescue

humor Adagio 2018-02-15

Then, she graduated to making porn films at the Michigan Raceway, during a pit stop, as the crowd was singing 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia.' In the opening scene, she was hunching a wheel-jack and giving head to the guy scraping bugs off the air-intake of a racing machine. Two wooden Indians that may have been her idea of gargoyles stood at each end of the trailer, looking down on me. Her nipples, pierced with green plastic safety pins, looked like cracked walnuts peeking from beneath shorts. She explained to me that she has lost her hearing, and I immediately looked down to assist her in finding her earring, remembering that she was illiterate, and never got past the third grade, like I did. Popping her chewing gum, Bobby Jo took my hand, her saddlebag ass jostling from beneath her Daisy Dukes.

Kickstand

humor Adagio 2018-02-15

Herly, being born in Poughkeepsie, and one half Portuguese, wore a snap-on queue, and a waist-long pigtail with the end stuck in his back pocket. He garnished them with kelp, seaweed and duck sauce kisses. I sanitized some bamboo shoots with soy sauce. Springing into action by propping up his penis, while the vibes were banging, he let loose, then started dancing and singing, "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag." The day was coming to an end. I decided on a bag of peanuts and a Dr. Pepper, but instead farted (AKA midday thunder) between a windshield wiper display and auto wax. The fucking monkey ran in and pissed on the battery charger, but not before he ate a moon pie and drank an RC Cola. Then he ran to the oil rack and wax display.

A Pallor Of Gray

humor Adagio 2018-02-14

CaraRose says to Reggie2: "Oh Reggie, the chat room flowers are so beautiful." CaraRose says to Reggie2: "Is it about your two jobs of astronaut and Wall Street broker?" CaraRose says to Reggie2:"Please say its not the chat room clap." "Oh Hurley, I think you may be sued for chat room malpractice. Reggie2 says to CarrRose: "I have been hanging out in another chat room." CaraRose says to Reggie2: "I think I am pregnant with your cyber child. Reggie2 says to CaraRose: "It cannot be mine, I had a chat room vasectomy and on safari."  CaraRose says Reggie2: "I may also have chat rooms worms." CaraRose says to Reggie2: "Are the chat squirrels chasing you for your nut?"

Over The Pill

humor Adagio 2018-02-13

I told the desk clerk, a mild-mannered goober, "I think I have influenza." "I want you to plummet me in my orifice like you did the night of our bunnyswoon. The last straw was when she asked me to sling her some phlegm, and I told her I was going to call the front desk, inquiring a mademoiselle. "I can't satisfy four whores, and the room air conditioner is working great." "Zelda is down at the lounge, straying her ass now." The clerk then told Hurley that he had just recently shellacked it with enamel and tinted the glass. When Zelda returned from straying her ass, she was ready for another round of whoopee making.

Gazebos and Vermouth - Part 4

mature Adagio 2018-02-12

Although a little sore I stripped down and cleaned up around the house. My cock was hanging and being pulled down by the weight of the heavy ring. Before leaving room 11B Evelyn had informed me that she 'only' had the tool to remove the ring from my cock head. My side living room window being with the blinds open, I could see movement in my next door neighbor's bedroom. The feel of the ring striking my inner thighs poured libido juice down my body. I tried to explained to her that I was too sore to perform, and she told me to get that 'mammy-jammer' that I had. Old-smokey was smoking her twat as the damn door bell rang and I heard, "Pizza".

Gazebos and Vermouth - Part 5

mature Adagio 2018-02-12

Three months had passed since Evelyn had fixed my cock up, down if you counted the direction it pointed. Evelyn gets me that way but I knew she wanted to fix my nut-sack with more ornaments. Three months had passed since the last Cali sighting at the Beachside Motel and her note, "girls, they want to have fun also". Three months had passed since the pizza delivery guy had delivered the pizza and Whistler's Mother had been formally introduced to the now defunct old-smokey dildo. The sign on the building said, 'The Heather Curling Club'. Thats how I felt when it dawned on me that the gosh-awful sport called the curling contraption a frigging stone.

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Sayonara Elysian Fields, Hello Hortense

humor Adagio 2018-02-11

At first with a back and forth motion as if wipers on a windshield of a Kai, then like a baton of an out-of-sorts maestro...striking Zelda's face and knocking the Tammy Faye's from her eyes. To top it off, the damn box inserted up my ass started playing music off key and love birds flew in the open window and lit on the handle...pecking at my ass. Zelda was a little bruised and told me that a saxophone wasn't needed for group sax...me thinking that the singing birds was enough. Kissed my girlfriend's asp...I hate snakes, and drove to Hortense, Georgia thirty-five miles from Brunswick, wanting to apply at the only croquette and mallard shop in Dixie. Hosel drilling a mallard was an art. Once there, I rented an old train caboose with one bedroom after being told the hotel position had been filled at the croquette shop.

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Valley Of Emeralds

fetish Adagio 2018-02-09

After we had arranged the swapping and trade policy of my shop, I asked her name for my book keeping records and to begin a history of her " in-shop visits". Before she left she asked me about the book reading club I hosted every other Tuesday evening. She unzipped his trousers and took his cock into her small hand. It was soon after that reading that I asked Terri to join me for a morning coffee. She took my hand and led me to a window that over looked a small quadrangle of lawn several flights below. She jacked-me off and as I gave a throb took my cock in her mouth. The remainder of the night we watched across the quadrangle until I took Terri's cock to my task.

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I Vont Yu Beef Curtains

humor Adagio 2018-02-07

It was show time, the lights dimmed and Honeysuckle came to the stage. Dancing slowly and very seductively starting to strip. Her busts threatening to burst out. She unbuttoned the front of her dress. She played with her pussy lips and they fluttered a cheer to the chairs. The customers were throwing cash and bottle caps on the stage. Between the darken streets and 12 steps shadowed from the sun, the life of a vampire is always on the run. Wafting like legs, with a creeping personality and putrefaction of vampire ambrosia. The night played out as I hungered between her thighs, and she scratched her initials on my back, before the moon expired. The confessional box reeking of sex and blood on the apse.

...and Butterfly do

fetish Adagio 2018-02-07

She looked just like a doll, she just didn’t talk which wasn’t a bad thing. I just smirked at the customer and then walked over to the doll and put my puny cock into her mouth. I didn't know how I could get my lack of length into the doll's ass. Trying to catch my breath, after freeing my cock from the doll's ass. It felt like five pounds of sausage, as his cock stretched my sphincter. I was looking into the customer’s eyes while I jerked my cock. My cock felt so good in his mouth. Like a wheelbarrow I was moving, one hand in front of the other as they steered me around the room.

It Don't Rain In Arizona

humor Adagio 2018-02-07

The two rooms were small but adequate, and my landlady, Mrs. Quagmire, seemed nice and pleasant, having the scent of cinnamon bread. Leaning forward, naked in a kitchen chair, his belly fat hung down between his legs and he was having a difficult time attempting to put a cock ring on his penis. Then, came a knocking on my door from Mrs. Quagmire. Having to give 2percentcream a rain check (it seldom rains in Arizona), I ate them as I heard the Indian crank over. Once again, a knocking came at my door as the old broad said, "it's a parakeet, Taffy."  Behind his chair, he had his Harley parked in the kitchen, and Mrs. Quagmire was polishing his handle bars.

I Vont Yu Tureen

humor Adagio 2018-02-07

I vampire, (Ezekiel) a living dead body. Often my conscience, a little church mouse, telling me, "I'm fucked up." Only to let me play in her tureen and her little pink (cunt) slipper. Her sphincter cleaving me, like a winking eye, blinded by light. Wanting to suck bacon (blood) before the dawn came up. Recently departing Idaho, after a run in with a potato hugging bitch. Her neon tattoos and the vascular atlas of her flesh swooning me a nine o'clock entry, as my one tooth scented her blood. Often, Dr. Neu Monia, doctor to the undead, would provide tomato aspic high energy bars to hold me over. She released a stream of urine with the heat of a double broiler. My cock plowing her pink slipper, as I sucked her blood.

I Vont Yu Hoppin' John

humor Adagio 2018-02-05

As a hundred yards off the beach, raising a small sail, a portmanteau caught the wind. My penis lay shriveled across a thigh of her rubber chicken as her crotch dumplings began to rise. In the middle of the room a dark brume hung over a portmanteau that sat on small caster wheels. As the tremors slowly massage the flooring, the portmanteau started to scooch toward the door that came open with the tremblings. The harlots were scampering in undress and holding their noses as they past Ezekiel's now ajar door. At that moment the door was smashed open by a flying apparatus, resembling a portmanteau, with an old geezer astride. "Fuck her like a dog, Ezekiel."

Gumshue

humor Adagio 2018-02-04

Prior to the police getting there, my mom had stuck her head out the door saying, "Sleet falling in buckets." I was cited for disturbance of the peace because some damn fool made an idiot of himself calling the radio station. Seeing as how the only street is a circle and one-way, I passed my new office up four times before I found it because it was against the law to backup. Later that afternoon, when I return to the office from lunch, Ginger told me to leave the front door open. The following day, less a chase vehicle, I ask Morp if there were any Escorts in town.

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Putting On My High Top Galoshes

humor Adagio 2018-02-04

I had my right leg crossed over my left knee as I was sort of swinging it...hoping Elma would like my new over the shoe, high top black galoshes. was my inability to sleep unless I had a pickle loaf sandwich before calling it a night, hoping the bedbugs don't bite. Being as I had to go out in the back yard to get the pickle loaf, I didn't want to be to conspicuous seeing as I had on high top galoshes. I set straight up in bed, knowing the tainted pickle loaf had caused nightmares. Welcome Al, as a giant pickle loaf wearing galoshes offered me a sandwich.

Arcane

fetish Adagio 2018-02-02

As I watched him saunter my way, I knew my dark veil did little to disguise my arduous desire to expose his kinkiest obsession. With a glint in my eye I placed the urethral sound bar deep within his now growing prick. As the bar tolled, her smooth tongue voluntarily explored the underbelly of my prick, and I was trapped like prey. Knowing that he would be mere putty in my hands, I couldn't disguise my own thrill at the thought of preying on his kinky obsessions. I could hear his guttural moans as I stroked and sounded his pork covered prick while now vigorously humping his crooked, gnarly foot.

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Gazebos and Vermouth-Part 6

fetish Adagio 2018-01-28

I kept watching her moving lips as my mind unzipped to my past of dicks and objects in my ass. The thoughts of my cock being a small like caterpillar as it sucked the life blood from one of Mother Natures tree leafs. Through the tiny eye of the penis. Wanting to ram my cock between her ass cheeks and hear her beg for more. In the rest room I unzipped my trousers and the weight of the ring held my hard cock down. The woman went on to telling me that she was Francie and Diane's best friend plus things I didn't just yet to know. However I really was interested and that Francie was like Diane in many ways.

I Vont Yu Blahod

humor Adagio 2018-01-28

With a hungering desire for blood, and a lust for fucking, they incorporated themselves as business people or local merchants while keeping night hours. My good wife (a vampire) of many years, had proffered her cunt to me at an early age and I had obliged her with a crooked staff and in returned received eternal life as my damnation. Needless to say, as her thighs wrapped around my old gray head and my tobacco stained tooth supped on her cunt, she passed on unacceptable blood. I don't know how I missed the incineration and burning of the bones, but I awoke in a box facing the east, just in case Beelzebub showed up early. "Make sure she's a virgin, Ezekiel, and bring home buttermilk biscuits."

Horse Apples And A Crackpot-Pt 2

humor Adagio 2017-08-22

I hung the speaker on the window as Sassy was trimming a corn on her toe, waiting for the movie to start. The Gremlin started coasting, breaking loose from the speaker as I shot cum and broke her nose. The car stopped at the concession where I ordered two large cherry cokes, one large pepperoni pizza, a box of chocolate mints, a pretzel for Heidi and one new peaker. After the movie, I dropped Sassy off at the bait shop and they put her nose in traction. I blacked flagged her scrawny old butt for failing a mandatory pitstop, because it looks like she had a loose lug nut on the right front wheel, coming out of the corner of Charlie Daniels.

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Winter Pond

anal Adagio 2017-04-25

My cock was hard and throbbing as I watched her: her eyes going back and forth from the TV screen, to me stroking myself and watching also. Cali picked up one of her favorite dildos from the end table and licked the black head sliding her tongue around the engorged glands and smiling; watching me, then TV. Her juices were dripping from her cunt as drool ran down her chin and I stood stroking my cock. I mounted Cali like a stallion, driving my cock up her asshole as she urged me on;daring me to make her scream. The urge and yearning to see a double penetration of Cali's asshole as she screamed and encourage me all the way.Two are better then one, I recalled hearing somewhere.

Horse Apples And A Crackpot

humor Adagio 2017-01-28

Fired, I walked passed the horse apples on my way out, with an adieu and avoiding the soy sauce. After spending several weeks drying out, due to my indulgence with sipping After Shave lotion, I applied for a job of High Sheriff in the small town of Plantar's Wart, Georgia. I had an assigned parking spot at the police station, right next to a place reserved for Brenda Lee, if she ever came to town. The Feed and Grain Store operated two days a week as a police station, and on Sunday's we Hallelujah'ed all over the damn place, that is when I wasn't peddling watermelon seeds.