Humor satire stories

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The Crack of Dawn

humor tom8o 2018-06-25

We drove out to the interstate and had a real nice dinner at the Holiday Inn. The two of us reconnected right away just like the last ten years never happened. When we got back to her place, I sat down and relaxed on Dawn's big leather sofa while she excused herself to go change into somethin' more comfortable. You see, Dawn's pants were made outta some kind of soft denim that just clung to her little body like spandex. That fucking Homer called me up out of the blue and asked me out to dinner. Since it was still early when we got back to my house, I asked Homer to come in for a glass of wine.

My Recurring Lush Nightmare

humor FirstBlush 2018-06-03

"Chris!" With that exuberant syllable I drop the packages just inside the front door and start to rush toward my adorable boyfriend who isn't supposed to be here until tomorrow, but something in his face freeze-frames me like Roadrunner over its ersatz Latin caption. But when in deep anything, keep your mouth shut, so I say not a word and let him spin me in an exaggerated twirl before he pulls me assertively into his arms. "I knew this guy who sent the same set of dirty instructions to all his friends and it pissed me off and I sassed him in schoolgirl character and two stories came out of it." I need to shut up, and fast.

The Secret Life of Bellingham Sam

humor magnificent1rascal 2018-06-03

She was still wearing the gorgeous camisole when he began massaging her shoulders, but soon sat forward a few inches and lifted her arms in a silent signal that it was time for the garment to come off, and Sam happily removed both it and his tee shirt. He could tell she was getting close to orgasm, and was grateful because he also knew he couldn’t last much longer; the taunting her fingers were performing on him, coupled with the fantasy that had enabled him to while away the time during the slow drive home, had him primed to shoot his load like a horny 16-year-old, but he dutifully held out for her signal.

Disciplining Frank Leigh

humor Shylass 2018-05-22

Holey moley, thought poor Frank Leigh, as she removed first one leg and then the other, and turned around so she straddled him again, hands leaning on the desk, and this time, he had a perfect view of her chocolate starfish right next to his now totally lubed penis. Standing up and pulling her dress down, Ms. McMorning looked at him with satisfaction, mistaking his bowed head for humility and shame, when really, Frank Leigh was getting ready to run in case she decided to start reciting some of her work again. And the small frame, paunchy tummy, and thinning hair of Frank Leigh sidled off into the corridors of the hotel, and out into the crowded nightlife of the New York streets, his eyes once more hooded as he melted away into the crowds, just watching… seen, but never seen…

Princess Tatjana & Her Magic Carpet

humor beelzebubble 2018-03-11

But when Tatjana turned toward her servant-girl she no longer saw the face of Suzanne. Instead she saw other eyes and noses, a long series, a continuous stream of waving curls and locks, of faces ---thousands, millions, which all appeared and disappeared and reappeared at the same time, which all continually shifted and rejuvenated themselves and which were yet all Suzanne. And Tatjana saw that this mask-like smile, this smile of unity over the flowing forms, this smile of simultaneousness over the thousands of births and deaths ---this smile of Tatjana's and Suzanne's -- was exactly the same as the calm, delicate, impenetrable, perhaps gracious, perhaps mocking, wise, thousand-fold smile of Demeter, Kore, Persephone, Aphrodite, Athena, Hera, Artemis, Gaia, the many-faced Great Goddess, as she the Goddess Herself had seen it in awe a thousand times.

Dirty Talk

humor sexygodess06 2017-12-09

Dolores had two great big tits still erect for her age, loved to tease, talk filthy and play dirty. Hank loved that Dolores was still his little vixen. I'm going to eat your pussy till you're hot and ready for my cock," Hank said. As she spread her legs, Dolores became knew she was becoming aroused looking at Hank sexually. You may call my big, ripe, juicy, succulent and luscious cock, Mr. Johnson in the future," said Hank thanking Dolores. Hank loved to suck Dolores' pussy. Dolores loved it when she rubbed his cock inside her pussy. "Next time, we'll dress up like real pirates and wenches, you dreamy pusswacker!" said Dolores.

Cheating Slut

humor Balaak 2017-11-25

I had expected such a large penis to rip my vaginal canal and cause severe pain, but it was just like Ken fantasized - the bigger the cock, the better. With him was my mother, my father, my three year old niece, my sister, our cat, our next door neighbors, Father Donovan - the family priest, my grandmother, Aunt Alice, my boss from work, Mother Theresa, the Pope, my doctor, the UPS man, my best friend Sarah, and God Himself. "Even though you were my little girl and I loved you so dearly, you are no longer our daughter and we support Ken's planned beatings and even killing you if he feels like it."

A Real Suave Guy Gets Some

humor DiaperedSiouxsie 2017-08-10

Martin sat in his chair and stared. Anyway, to resume: Martin sat in his chair looking stupid for a good twenty minutes until the girl noticed him. Just then he took a real look at the girl and noticed how beautiful she was. "Well," she started, "you don't look like you've had any in a long time, and niether have I." Martin hesitated. The girl got up and walked to her desk while Martin- oh hell, let's just move on to six. Martin drove up into his driveway, delighted to see a car parked in front of his house. "No," he said, "the couch next to the pile of shit." Martin began stripping, as did the girl(about four minutes ago).

The Larry Stinger Show

humor kurrginatorX 2017-06-30

As the audience said Oooooooooo, Larry asked, "So, what do you hope to accomplish here today?" "Do you know why you're here today, Richard?" Larry asked. "Least I don't look like bearilla," Jeannie said, "and for those of you who don't know what that means, it means she's half bear and half gorilla." Security finally got them separated, and Larry said, "Okay, Richard. Jeannie took one look at her, then turned to Richard and began a litany of, "God-damn you! "Oh, you don't know the half of it, Larry," Jeannie said with a smug look on her face. "She knows that there is only one way that I'd do that, Larry." He turned to her and said, "Don't you?" "Wait a minute," Larry said, a look of puzzlement on his face.

Bounteous Bosoms

humor Paul44 2017-06-07

Her silly giggle excited him and his cock as he watched her bounteous bosom rising and falling as he wanting to expose those beauteous, bountiful breasts and he felt his little boy becoming even more of a big man. Of course before they had started this they had closed the door and had drawn the curtains because they did not want to make a bad impression on the neighbours who thought that Olivia was a very nice girl and that she should be properly settled down with a man who could let her become a good wife and mother. Unlike many woman of her age she had a full thicket of hair, but this thicket did not contain any cute little bunnies or deers with liquid brown eyes like Bambi but barely hid the hot burning cunt that he had to fill with his cock.

Muscular Men near the Sea Pt. 01

humor enjoyabledave 2017-06-06

He won't miss me for a few hours." She put a hand on his muscular shoulder, and he could not resist her touch and turned toward her. "Hush," she said, and her hand lightly grazed his large, muscular boner, which leapt up toward her hand like a happy puppy dog jumping to catch a frisbee. Contrary to what Jennifer had thought as she planned her tryst by the sea, Richard was paying no attention whatsoever to his business ventures, instead choosing to pass his time organizing his large collection of pornography. Jennifer sauntered dazzlingly across the room with a dazzling smile that sparkled and was very shiny and Richard watched her, thinking about how dazzling she was and being in awe of her shininess.