Humor wife stories

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My Journal

humor ricinatl 2018-11-17

I had to head off to work but before leaving I told my wife that tonight she would be begging for cock. I slowly pumped this fat cock into her pussy, giving her a little at a time. My eyes were wide open and glued to my wife as she pulled this fat cock out to the head and pounded it back into her stretched pussy over and over. Her eyes were closed and head tilted back as she let out screams of pleasure while continuing to drive every inch of this beast deep inside. When she stopped trembling I was so hard I immediately drove my cock into her pussy and started fucking her as hard as I could.

Cuckold Excitment

humor woreout 2018-11-05

I helped her put on her long coat and while holding the door open so she could set down in the car I saw her legs where in fact covered in stockings and they where held up by black garter straps. We where there only about five minutes and a tall black man came to the table and introduced himself as Tommy , I stood and shook his hand , before I could say anything my wife said Tommy this is my friend . We hurried home and as I ate her very well used pussy she told me that Tommy was so fucked out that she left him asl**p in his room.

Husbands plan

humor bava12 2018-11-02

Then he said start getting ready and we will leave our daughter to my moms house. Then my husbands boss came near me and started talking to me and i don’t know wat was making me to talk to him. And now my head my started moving a bit and i was just wanting my husband to come and take me home and give me a good hard fuck. Then my husband came and took my boss a side and started chatting. Then the boss came took my hand and made me stand up. While going towards the room i heard the door lock and was feeling boss hand touch my boobs from my back.

Something funny

humor 2018-10-05

# 4 A man was visiting his wife in hospital where suggests he should try rubbing her right breast man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. opened his mouth and the man removed his A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he guy and says: ś foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch The big black dude picks up the small white guy asks the small white guy. The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what The small white guy says, "Thank God, I thought "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago "I know," the old man said, "We were probably

Dirty Jokes ReEdit

humor 2018-09-30

The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know.

The wife is out again

humor fun2cum 2018-09-13

Meanwhile, the wife is out getting her holes filled with another guy's rod. She loves going out and showing other guys her awesome blow-job skills. She'll take off her dress and tell me about her little escapade, my cock getting harder and harder, then she will show me what she did to the other guy. I love running my hands up and down her stockings, knowing the other guy was doing the same thing. It is always so wet and juicy and I'll tell her I love the way her "just-fucked" pussy feels. She tells me she does (she never turns down a hot load!) and suddenly I'm filling her insatiable pink pussy with my white-hot cum.

Beer vs. Vagina

humor 2018-09-12

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. 6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. One point to VAGINA One point to VAGINA One point to VAGINA One point to VAGINA One point to VAGINA One point to BEER One point to BEER One point to BEER One point to BEER One point to BEER One point to BEER One point to BEER FINAL SCORE: BEER: 11 VAGINA: 9

Caught Shaving

humor CanoePirate 2018-09-06

The warm water, my holding/fondling and the thought of the weekend ahead causes my dick to harden. Suddenly I hear a moan, my head snaps towards the door to see Astrid with one hand mauling her covered breasts and the other rubbing her pussy through her pants. “I’ve never seen a man shave his dick before,” she says. “It looks sexy the way you hold yourself and gently pass the razor over your balls.” Astrid then announces, “I’ve also never seen a man playing with himself. Would you like to continue?” So I take myself in hand and enjoy the excitement of being watched, very closely by my 18 year old step daughter.

Massage or what?

humor dlbiblkm 2018-09-05

For the first half hour I was on my stomach and man could she massage, my muscles were now pretty relaxed, she asked me to turn around on my back... I looked over at my wife and now the girl is standing up between her legs and I focused on the sound of their bodies hitting each other... I looked over and my wife was still getting fucked by that chic, she was breathing harder and at that point she wasn't covering her mouth anymore, her moaning started and I could literally hear the sound of that dildo going in and out of what is now "That I know" her wet pussy.

Dear Lynn

humor grgy56 2018-09-05

Her dress fell even more open and now showed her bare thigh except for the red garter strap. The clerk could see right up her dress and was staring at my wife's barely covered pussy. My wife stood up in front of him and pulled her dress opening aside to look down at her feet. When he returned with the red pair and sat in front of my wife again, he discovered she had undid a couple of more buttons on her dress so basically she had one button keeping everything closed. Then she stood up, buttoned her dress and slipped on the new red mules. My question is, how do I make my slut, exhibitionist wife stop wearing panties when she goes out and displays herself?

Be My Girl

humor KarlVonWillebrand 2018-09-05

I was blue and lonely, If I’d had to much to drink I needed inspiration, A brand new start in life, But I didn’t want a wife The like I’d never seen, ’experience something different With our new imported toy, She’s loving, warm, inflatible She came all wrapped in cardboard, A breath of air was all she needed And pumped her with some life, That girl became my wife I blow her up with air She’s like a rubber ball, I bounce her in the kitchen And I bounce her in the hall And now my life is different Since sally came my way She’s everything they say she was And I wear a permanent grin, In case my girl wears thin

Friends Wife and my pestle

humor dlbiblkm 2018-09-01

"You like my shit don't you?" she whispered, "fuck yea" "keep jerking it for me papi" she said now fingering her pussy, I want it in my mouth" "no" I replied "we can't do that" I pointed at him, "he doesnt have to know" she added, "I would" I answered... let me see that dildo in your ass" I pulled her to the sofa, she spread her legs wide open and pulled the dildo out of her ass, she didn't moan loudly but her soft noises got me hotter, she had a nice gape there "cum for me" she said pushing two fingers in her pussy. I started jerking faster, "damn I wish you could fuck me right now" she said pushing in three then four fingers in her wet pussy.

Calm down,its only a penis!

humor 2018-08-30

its your precious son as well,you're making yourself randy again!" - "Ok you filthy bastard,tell him I forgive him" - "Reggie,in her a minute,mum's has something to say" - His head appeared around the door,but not before my wife had pulled just a sheet over her middle region and dropped her tee shirt down over her ample breasts which until she did,I'd not noticed he'd obviously pushed the top up to see them or perhaps squeeze them as he fucked her! You know what I'm like about money" - Knelt on the bed now and she hugged him in - dirty me,my cock twitched as I watched her pull him down on her tits and belly,She kissed at his face and he at hers until they separated, - "Right dad we're all sorry now" - That was my wife speaking for all.

The Truth About Swinging....

humor 2018-08-17

If you dont veiw others as merely "sex object" for YOUR sexual desires and fantasies,and understand that other people have feelings like you do,and that they have JOBS and friends and f****y and that you MUST be discreet,which means: Keep your MOUTH SHUT!, about what youre doing, because this thing can, and DOES cause one helluva a lot problems if there's a "falling out," or someone gets upset,and runs and tells everyone everything....and Oh,by the way,they arent going to tell everyone that they were involved,they are going to leave themselves OUT of it!So,the third question,is more crucial than you realize,and here it goes....Three) Are you being INVITED by another couple,or other couples, to swing with them???

Doggy-sitting

humor drew1207 2018-08-04

the morning and evening, and fed him. The next day I had a horrible day at work. She drew back into her chair and after a few minuets It was about two in the morning when I stirred to her Slowly my hand wondered down between her legs. asked again, "this is not like you." I slipped my middle finger into her panties and made my "Oh!" I exclaimed. "How cool!" I exclaimed. it just kinda happened..." A second later I rammed my dick into her and pushed as It took a minuet to calm pushed her pussy right into my face, making sure that work. over her clit and started sucking really hard to create We were motionless for a minuet.

Mistaken Identity

humor 2018-08-03

It was dark, we had the running lights on, and when we reached the pass, he turned them off and turned right and said there is a party down the lake, and I want you ot meet this Nympho, and get laid real quick, and we can come back home, and jump in the lake, and she won’t be able to smell the pussy on you. After about 20 strokes, I pulled out and jumped around in front of her and shoved it in her mouth, treating her like a whore, she licked and sucked it as I shot a full load down her throat, and held her there until she swallowed. I went up to the beer truck, got a frosty, and saw my wifes’ cousin, he asked me where I had been.

It was Supposed to be a Joke

humor flashgordon562006 2018-07-28

Lisa said the outfit made her look like a slut and the guys would want her to put out. Since I had no money, I asked Lisa if I could use her for the bet to cover the raise. Then Lisa said she would do the same as she did for Bob. I looked at her and Bob and asked what that was. Lisa said that Bob offered her a big tip if I gave him a blow job, so I did. Bob agreed to that and Lisa came over and took out Bill's cock and gave him a blow job. I told Lisa it was all my fault as the whole thing was supposed to have been a joke.

saving marriage

humor pussylower 2018-07-22

" Slave, remove his hair from bottom now." mistress said at end, and took a candle, put it in husbands ass," Tess will you light it up? When she got in it, she said:" I love this swing, completely in your mercy, mistress." Then 2 slaves begin licking lady's breasts and nipples, while 3rd was at husband checking his penis, it got erected fast, so she put that cloth on fast, so only head was visible. Then tied cloth to penis fast, so it couldn't shrink." I don't think we need those clamps on you Tess, for now," Mistress said and removed them. When 10minutes left, mistress said slaves to put wife out of sex swing and put husband in.

Nudist and Swingers

humor buratino66 2018-06-27

By now my cock was actually getting a bit on the hard side, partly because of Kathy's glances directed between my legs and my glances to her pussy and the lips that were now sweating wet. Anyway, as I layed back in the hot tub with this friendly woman a few feet from me the bubbles again began swirling and so did my cock and balls with the movement of the water. Half and hour later the wife smile and asked about the hot tub. My wife Sally followed coursed with mine and during that hour of drinking and talking Danny and I were both HARD and I'm sure the girls WET.

Sex Joke

humor 2018-06-20

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine? Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin? Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman? A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having c***dren, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them. A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week! Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor.

1980's Porn Movie Night

humor captjim51 2018-06-18

To my surprise, Anne just kept watching the film while occasionally glancing over at Chet and Rhianna who were obviously going to fuck right in front of us. Soon Chet said OK Rhianna come over here and suck my cock. That girl took Chet’s cock in her hand started sucking on the head and did what I nor my wife couldn’t believe. Chet on the other hand laid back on the couch moaning loudly as his wife continued her rapid fire sucking of his cock. The Rhianna made a funny comment; she said “I don’t swallow cum like some women in this room do”. Well after that comment Anne unbuttoned her jeans pulled them off, stood up and said “do I look like a ballet star”!!!

Sperm Donor

humor zimabean 2018-06-17

"I think it would be better to have several guys ready and they all bang the woman while her husband watches, that way the sperm is fresh and delivered right to the spot and you use three or more men so no one knows who for sure knocked her up and I know several guys that would do that for free also." Was my reply. So my wife started to give me a blow job and then at the last possible second she have me nut in this turkey baster looking thing. I also had the pleasure of banging my mother inlaw, who was also so turned on by watching me and Tess fuck that night.

MY WIFE BECAME PART OF THE DEAL

humor bobbyblue53 2018-06-15

When Alice came down the stairs she looked so hot I wanted to fuck her myself there and then but we needed to leave right away to make sure we got there before the client came, On the way Alice’s dress had ridden up her thighs with the buttons undone was now showing quite a bit of leg and it was making me really hard in my pants Alice noticed this and said I finished my call and made my way upstairs to the offices when I got there I could see Alice was sitting on a desk with her legs crossed again showing a lot of thigh to this client while talking to him,

my wife, the bar girl

humor 2018-06-12

I showered and redressed and went to the bar ten minutes behind her and Sheree was at the bar and the older guy from before came up to me and said "How was she?" I said "She was worth it!" He said she looked like she was made for hot sex. At home she said he had come up to her and said he was ready, she hesitated and he said, don't make me call Tony, at which she smiled and said, "can't let Tony get mad at me, let's go!" and took him to the room and he undressed her and admired her breasts and pussy, he then went down on her, then he spread her legs and slide his cock in her and fucked her in long deep strokes.