She has the practice of sadomasochism down to a science. Her internal demons feed her silent masochism, and her external demons are pure sadism. And she directs her sadism at me, knowing that I want to internalize and externalize all of the pain in my sheer masochism.
One night, I was very worked up and desperate for affection. She and I play around, but often our play doesn't even involve orgasms. If she decides that she wants one of us to cum, then it almost always involves a high level of pain.
However, this one night in particular, all I wanted was to cum for her, and I make it really easy for her too. Sometimes when she just wants me to be quiet and stop pestering, she lets me dry hump her leg until I get off. It's a rare and merciful indulgence that she allows me to have an orgasm without making it hurt. This night was not one of those merciful occasions.
Lying together on our four-poster bed, I continued to whine and inch my body closer to hers. To my surprise, she reached into her nightstand and pulled out her vibrator. She held out the toy and told me that she wanted me cum for her and that she wanted to watch. I was delighted, and just as I reached out to take the vibrator, she stopped me and added one condition. She told me that she wanted me cum for her, but she wanted it to be the most gut-wrenching and painful orgasm ever. She wanted me to make myself cum so hard that I would be left in agony with the room spinning.
She had given me painful orgasms before, but only ones that involved real physical pain, that she was inflicting. This time she wanted me to masturbate for her, she wasn't going to touch me at all, and she told me to make sure it hurts. I didn't understand how she wanted me to accomplish this, because I could only think of masturbating as purely hedonistic. I didn't know how I could make myself cum painfully using a vibrator. I asked her to tell me what she meant and how she wanted me to hurt myself for her.
She rolled onto her side to look me in the eyes, and she promised that she would make sure I understood. She turned on the vibrator, handed it to me, and told me to hold it to my aching cunt. I was already wet by the time she gave me the toy, and instantly gasped from the pleasurable sensations running through my body. She watched my unadulterated pleasure and allowed me to keep building myself up, watching me squirm as I was getting closer and closer. When she sensed that I was starting to get really close, she stroked my hair and reminded me to make it hurt.
She pulled in close to me and whispered in my ear, "I want you to go to a very dark place. I want your thoughts consumed by haunted memories. I want your cum to be so fucking painful that your walls ache for minutes after, or even longer." Her pernicious whispers brought me even closer the edge, but I didn't want to go there.
I didn't want to visit my haunted thoughts while I was cumming for her. Pain arouses me, painful thoughts scare me, and fear arouses me. All of this internal conflict swirled in my head, and she didn't stop whispering in my ear. She said some of the worst things imaginable, and I didn't want to hear any of it.
She whispered, "Look at you, such a good little slut needing her sweet sweet cum. Just like your mother. That's what you are. All those nights she went out swinging just to get her sweet fill." When she said those words I had tears streaming down my cheeks and I cried out for her to please just stop.
I tried to take the vibrator away from my cunt, and she grabbed my wrist and held it there. I was tingling and throbbing and begging her to make it all stop. She wouldn't stop, and next she whispered, "I know it hurts, sweet girl. I know you wanted to cum for me sweetly, but I need you to make it hurt. Stay right there in your dark scary thoughts and just let go. Give in to the darkness and cum for me."
As soon as she told me to cum for her, my whole body started shaking, ready to explode. I was conditioned to cum for her on command when I heard those words. I was right on the edge, and just as I allowed my body to give in, she whispered once more, "You are just like your mother, you pathetic fucking slut. You live each day looking for one thing to make life worth it, just like your mother, and you make me so ashamed that you deserve to die, exactly like she did."
I cried out in pain and agony as my whole body shook so violently in an orgasm that felt like it would never end. I was in so much pain, and I was so angry. With tears streaming down my face, I screamed at her that she was pure evil. I'd never felt more ashamed and betrayed by my body before in my life. I didn't bother to turn off the vibrator and I threw it at her. I told her to go fuck herself, and I stormed off to the bathroom.
Once my back was towards her, my grimace shifted into a smirk as I realized my cunt was still aching and throbbing. I felt like I wanted to slit her throat because she had just allowed me to have the best orgasm of my life.
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